


Clean Up What is Left of You

by hannigramcracker, TimmyJaybird



Series: You Wrote in Blue [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Aoba is dating everyone, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Koujaku is trans even though it does not come into play yet, M/M, Sickfic, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 20:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15565779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannigramcracker/pseuds/hannigramcracker, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: A few hours in the cold mean nothing to Mink, when Aoba is there to warm him up at the end. But even he's not immune to sickness- and it turns one night from a promise of sweetness to agony.





	Clean Up What is Left of You

**Author's Note:**

> HC and I are back on our bullshit. Are we really in a fandom if we don't write together?
> 
> We've got other fics formulating in this verse. Basically Aoba dates everyone. Why choose?

The slide of the veranda doors released the sweet sound of Aoba’s laughter into the night air. Mink took a reflexive step back, hidden by the shadows, just able to see his lover sitting cross legged on the floor.

 

A flash of red, and Koujaku was on the veranda, settling a cigarette to his lips. Mink kept silent as he lit it, took a long drag and close his eyes as he exhaled. There was a beat of silence, and then, without opening his eyes,

 

“You know, I could stay the night.”

 

Mink didn’t respond. Just exhaled in a silent sigh. He wouldn’t  _ blame _ Koujaku if he did. Wouldn’t blame any of Aoba’s lovers, honestly. He knew they didn’t like him, didn’t trust him- and he couldn’t say it was without reasons. Hell, he didn’t very much like himself, for the things he had done to Aoba, put him through.

 

Yet he couldn’t pull away from him. Aoba was worse than a drug.

 

Maybe he would have at least given a retort, but he felt strangely tired. His body had a dull ache running through it, pooling in his joints. It had to be from standing still out here for so long. Nothing more.

 

Koujaku’s eyes slit open, and he peered into the dark. Another drag, and the smoke blew directly in Mink’s direction. His silence, his admission that maybe Koujaku had the power here, gave Koujaku a little push. After all, he’d promised to meet Mizuki, and Aoba had wanted to stay in…

 

And he was only a phone call away.

 

He took another drag, before he flicked the cigarette away. “You hurt him in any way, I kill you.”

 

Mink didn’t respond, as Koujaku turned and disappeared back into the house. He didn’t doubt Koujaku for a second- when it came to Aoba, the man had a hellfire that burned through every single vein. And he wouldn’t fight it, either.

 

No matter the desire to live that Aoba had wormed into his mind, if he hurt him again, he’d welcome Koujaku’s punishment.

 

He waited until he saw Koujaku leave, then another fifteen minutes. The air had gotten even colder, and the chill was sticking to his bones. The thought of just disappearing into Aoba’s heat was too tempting, had him finally moving, knocking on the veranda door. Just two sharp raps of his knuckles, but in barely a moment Aoba was sliding the door open, grinning and pulling him inside with eager hands. Mink almost tripped over himself, as Aoba got his arms around him, squeezing tightly. He was so warm compared to the cold wind on Mink’s back from outside the open door, he feltlike a burning heaven.

 

Mink wrapped his arms around Aoba, dropped his head so his cheek rests atop his head. Breathed in and smelled Aoba’s shampoo- and the lingering scent of Koujaku’s cologne, clinging to him. It didn’t  _ bother _ him though- he was no fool, none of them were. They all love Aoba. He loves them. And they just have to accept that. Besides, he had seen the two while he was outside, after the others had left- how Aoba crawled into Koujaku’s lap. The two laughing between kisses.

 

It was  _ sweet _ , and knowing Aoba could smile like that- Mink would never want to take away it’s cause.

 

“How long were you out there?” Aoba asked, still happily nestled into him. His hands clutched at the back of Mink’s jacket, which had been a poor choice for the shockingly cold night. Too thin. 

 

“I don’t know,” Mink said, his voice a rumble fro his chest. Aoba sighed over it, the feeling and sound making him drowsy. He’d been there since before Noiz had left- and he’d been the first to go. Two hours? Not three, surely.

 

Aoba clicked his tongue, shifting so Mink was forced to lift his head. He stared up at him, beautiful golden eyes making Mink’s chest ache. The rest of his aches just had to be from not moving, and nothing more.

 

“Let’s go to bed then,” he said softly, hands sliding from Mink’s back to his chest, and up to his shoulders. They were sagging subtly, and a frown played at the corners of Aoba’s lips. “I can tell you’re tired.”

 

Aoba leaned up, placed the softest kiss to Mink’s pulse, and Mink’s hands slid down to his waist, squeezed. “We don’t need to sleep yet…” He murmured, almost shivering when Aoba sighed against his neck. He’d be lying if he claimed that at least part of the time he had been waiting, he hadn’t been thinking of every way he could make love to Aoba that night.

 

That was what it was now, not  _ fucking _ . Mink couldn’t think of it like that anymore, brought back images of what he had  _ done _ . Things he would atone for, for the rest of his life- and even if Aoba somehow found forgiveness for him, that didn’t mean Mink had to forgive himself.

 

And he still wanted it, wanted to disappear inside Aoba and watch his face twist and flush with pleasure. Lived for making him feel  _ good _ , but-

 

God he was  _ tired _ and his muscles just ache. The idea of falling into bed with Aoba tangled around him and just sleeping sounded like heaven. “Mink… we can just snuggle,” Aoba said, leaning back to look up at him. “I don’t wanna wear you out…” he paused, and then with a beautiful, playful smile, added, “ _ old man _ .”

 

Mink chuckled, and didn’t stop Aoba as he took a step backwards, guiding him towards the bed. Aoba’s smile was so beautiful, Mink was sure he didn’t deserve it. “Watch yourself,” he warned, playful as well, before hoisting Aoba up and tossing him over his shoulder. Aoba laughed, a shriek of pure joy and abandon, squirming around as Mink crossed the room quickly. He didn’t toss Aoba down but took the extra time to gently settle him onto the bed. Looking down at him, flushed cheeks and pretty smiling lips and  _ happy eyes _ , made Mink truly want to stay up until dawn-

 

But even just carrying Aoba across the room has left him tired. And his hesitation to climb into the bed with Aoba has his lover frowning. “Honey?”

 

Mink closed his eyes, offering a small, weak smile. “Guess I am pretty tired.” He opened them back up, reached down to gently stroke Aoba’s hair. Even if the feeling was gone, Mink was still gentle, reverent with it.

 

“Just lay with me,” Aoba whispered, turning and reaching up, catching Mink’s hand. He pressed a gentle kiss to his palm. Mink could only nod, thinking maybe in the morning, he’d feel more himself.

 

*

 

Mink woke up almost as suddenly as he fell asleep. Confused for a moment, he took in his surroundings. Aoba’s familiar ceiling, his even more familiar weight curled next to Mink, completely entangled in his limbs. Slowly, Mink closed his eyes again, intent on falling back asleep, when his stomach gurgled loudly and painfully. It clenched and spasmed, cramped and bubbling. It was so loud that Mink actually wasn’t sure if the pain of it or the sound of it was what had woken him. 

 

He grit his teeth against a gasp, pressing a flat palm against the bottom of his stomach. This was definitely more than just being overtired, Mink thought, tinged with dread. He hadn’t been sick in ages. It was as if he’d forgotten the way the sensations actually felt. Mink swallowed heavily, trying to move very slowly so as not to disturb Aoba. Even just the gentle movement caused his joints to scream out at him. He grimaced, freezing and realizing there was a dull pain gathering and pounding behind his eyes. He swallowed once more, inhaling slow and deep through his nose. 

 

Pleasantly warm earlier, now he felt much too hot and suffocated beneath Aoba’s heavy blankets with the other man wrapped around him. His stomach rolled again and he felt sweat collect on his bare spine, his brow, the back of his neck. Yet another breath brought another painful cramp rolling up his stomach. Mink thought if he could just step out of the bedroom for just a moment, just get a breath of fresh air, some water to splash on his face and neck, he would be fine. He just needed to calm down for a few moments. He tried to move away from Aoba, slowly, carefully, but the younger man wrapped his arms and legs around Mink’s body, bringing the cloying heat even closer still. 

 

Mink held back a groan and squirmed beneath Aoba’s grip. His scalp was starting to sweat as well, and god, he just wanted the blanket  _ off.  _ He knew if he could just get away for a moment and collect himself, things would be fine. 

 

And if they weren’t….

 

Well, if they weren’t, he would have to leave before Aoba noticed. He would hate to just up and go in the middle of the night, but he couldn’t bear to have Aoba see him like this. He would have to slip out, quietly like he’d done hundreds of times before in his life. He would leave Aoba a note explaining, and he would see him in a few days. 

 

Slightly lost in his train of thought, the next cramp took Mink by surprise. It was painful, urgent, and all thoughts of just slipping out through the veranda vanished with it. He knew he needed to get up and get to the bathroom, he no longer had a choice in the matter. His mouth began to water, tepid saliva coating his numbing cheeks. His stomach hurt on the top, beneath his ribs, and deep within his gut as well. Mink knew there was no way around it now, this was going to be terrible.  

 

With renewed resolve, Mink shirked Aoba’s grasp and Aoba rolled over without waking. At least that worked out for him. Mink was met with violent shivers the moment the cool bedroom air hit his clammy skin. He shuffled to the bathroom, quickly and quietly, still trying to allow Aoba to sleep. He shut the door almost soundlessly as his vision wavers and another relentless cramp ripped through his stomach. He gripped the edges of the sink for stability, sweating and shaking. His head was pounding now, mind buzzing. His tongue felt fuzzy and his limbs heavy. 

 

He sat roughly down on the closed toilet lid, trying desperately to catch his breath for even just a moment. He waited anxiously between cramps for the inevitable, and when the dizziness finally came he had no choice but to succumb to the uncomfortable flash of heat followed immediately by a chill that he felt in his very bones. He leaned over, hooked his arm in the basin of the sink as well as he could and vomited something so acidic he swore it burned a hole straight through his throat. The heave had him rising, legs not cooperating but holding his weight as best as they could. Still, he vomited down his arm and the sensation of thick saliva and bile trailing from his mouth to his elbow had him heaving again. 

 

It hurt in a way that Mink hadn’t hurt in a long time. It left something inside him aching. The retch had a cough following right behind it, something deep and wracking. It was violent and left his entire chest and abdomen feeling like they were being constricted to a point of turning inside out. He groaned, breathless and clipped, the sound of it bubbling out of his chest. He hadn’t vomited like this in such a long time. It had been ages since he’d dealt with this kind of thing sober, and it was absolute misery without the alcohol present to blunt his senses, torture to feel it all full force. 

 

His stomach gurgled again, churning heavily, and he pressed one hand against it and another against his mouth, bending forward over the basin of the sink once more. He knew he wasn’t done, practically nothing had come up with the first few heaves, and gods, his stomach  _ hurt.  _ Tears began to gather in his eyes as he panted, moving his hand quickly to allow thick saliva to trail from his mouth and pool against the sink. Another retch had him in its grasp and caused him to heave so deeply, so loudly, that he didn’t even hear the door cracking open behind him. 

 

Mink coughed wetly, eyes squeezed shut. But when a hand touched his bare, sweat slicked back, he jerked. The shock had him feeling as if he may retch his heart right up his throat next. He huffed a breath, could taste the sour stomach acid in his throat. He hadn’t  brought up anything of substance- granted, when was the last time he even ate the day before? He didn’t remember, didn’t want to, and couldn’t even be sure if he was thankful or not that his heaves had been mostly fruitless.

 

A wave of dizziness and nausea washed over him again, reminding him he wasn’t done- and okay, maybe he hoped he could just bring something proper up already.

 

“Mink,” Aoba whispered, hand still on his back. “Mink, god,  _ baby _ .” His voice was small, sleepy still but concerned, and his hand was cool. “What happened?” And then after a pause, as if he knew the answer but had to ask anyway, “are you okay?”

 

Mink swallowed, thick and slow. “Don’t know,” he managed, his voice a deep rasp. His throat ached with each word. “My head fuckin’-” he broke off as a sharp pain flashed behind his eyes, radiated throughout his temples and sinuses. “ _ Ngh _ , hurts.” He felt Aoba’s cool hand sliding along his spine, a sweet, small reprieve from the complete discomfort his body had turned into. “And my stomach-”

 

He broke off, coughing, ending in a fruitless gag. His cheeks burned with fever and shame, and he  _ never _ wanted Aoba to see him like this. He was in control, even when he  _ wasn’t _ , and this-

 

It shredded his pride into flimsy fragments.

 

And he wanted to ask Aoba to leave- at least a part of him did- but he could barely string the words together. It would be pointless though- Aoba wouldn’t listen. If Aoba was anything, it was stubborn.

 

Mink coughed, the fit making his chest rattle and ache. He groaned over the agony of it. Aoba continued to rub his back, trying to be soothing. His fingertips were so soft, delicate- too pure to be touching Mink. Especially in such a wretched state.

 

Aoba’s other hand reached out, swept his now soft hair back off his sweaty forehead. He gave a little gasp, whispering, “You’re on fire.” His face was awash with concern.

 

“I’m fine,” Mink mumbled, quickly, even as he leaned into Aoba’s cool touch. Aoba simply shook his head, knew better than to argue.

 

“C’mon, let’s get you off your bed. Do you think you’re….done?” Mink cringed slightly, but nodded. He still felt nauseous, but nothing was _ happening _ , and maybe it would go away if he can just get comfortable again. He allowed Aoba to steady him, guide him back to his bedroom, towards the bed. He sat heavily on it, taking a moment to steady himself, and maybe he would be alright-

 

But when he tried to lay down, his center of gravity shifting, saliva pooled in his mouth again. He sat up, all too quickly in a panic, and Aoba’s eyes widened. He started to say Mink’s name, but Mink shakes his head, reaching up and pressing his hand to his mouth, pulling in a quick, deep breath through his nose. 

 

He can breathe through it, he can breathe through it,  _ he can breathe through it _ -

 

He felt his throat tightening, his stomach cramping so tightly there are tears in his eyes. He didn’t hear Aoba’s bare feet moving quickly, but when his lover was suddenly crouching down, holding a small wastebasket, Mink was  _ thankful _ . He took it in his shaking hand, Aoba having to help steady it near the base, and the moment his hand moved, bile and saliva gushed from his lips. He coughed, turning into a heavy, wet heave.

 

This time, it was more than stomach acid. It was the pathetic remnants of  _ whatever _ he last ate  _ whenever _ . Mink squeezed his eyes shut, letting his stomach try to completely empty itself finally. It felt strangely good, after the discomfort of nothing but bile.

 

Vaguely, he could hear Aoba saying his name. He didn’t  register it though, until Aoba finally let go of the waste basket- now firmy in Mink’s tight grip, to the point that his knuckles were going white- and swept his hair back again. His fingertips were heaven against his scalp, and even when he coughed up one more pathetic heave, it was painful but not nearly the agony it had been before Aoba’s touch.

 

“Just try to breathe baby,” Aoba whispered, coaching him through the end of the heave. Mink’s throat burned. “Just get it up. You’ll feel better.” Mink grimaced, the sour smell making him feel worse. He turned his face away, taking a breath, the air cooler, giving him a sweet moment of reprieve.

 

This had not been how he’d thought he’d be spending his night with Aoba. He felt time was precious with him, never knew when Aoba might finally come to his senses and realize he was a  _ monster _ that didn’t deserve his time- or when his other lovers would finally take matters into their own hands. He didn’t want to waste a moment of it.

 

  
“Are you alright?” Aoba asked, even though the question seemed pointless. Mink took another slow, deep breath, and groaned. He tried to shrug a shoulder, but the joint ached. Was he okay? Decidedly not. Definitely.

 

Aoba frowned, still stroking Mink’s hair. He didn’t seem overly phased by any of this, other than his concern. Mink had to give him credit for that.

 

“Do you think you’re done?” He nodded, slowly. There couldn’t be anything left in him. His gut still ached like there was sharp, hot metal inside him, but his nausea was subsiding quickly. Aoba pulled his fingers back from Mink’s hair, and he bit back a pathetic whine, missing the soft, cool contact. Carefully, Aoba took the waste basket and set it aside, before he guided Mink slowly back down onto the bed. This time it felt  _ good _ , unimaginably so, to melt into the bed. “I'll be back in a minute.”

 

Mink couldn’t even speak before Aoba was gone. He took the basket with him, and Mink realized he was cleaning up. He burned with shame beyond his fever. How the hell was this kid willing to take care of him after all the bullshit he’d put him through?

 

He lost track of time, but heard the soft creak of Aoba’s door opening again. His feet padding across the room, the dip of the bed when he sat on it. He tried to say his name, but it came out a pained croak.

 

“I’m right here,” Aoba soothed. “Here, drink something.” Mink very carefully sat up, took the glass of cool water Aoba offered. He took a sip, and god, it was such a relief on his aching throat. He tried to be slow about it, but he wanted to gulp the whole thing down. Aoba’s hand on his arm stopped him after a few sips, though, and his lover took the glass, left it on his nightstand. “Are you alright?”

 

“As alright as I can be.”

 

Aoba hummed, nodded.  He ran his hand along Mink’s arm again, up to his broad shoulder. “You’re so warm. You have a fever.” He paused, his mouth dipping into a frown. “How long were you outside?”

 

Mink doesn’t answer. He lied when he told Aoba it wasn’t long earlier, and he wanted to keep it at that. But his boy was too smart, and he was in no shape to even try.

 

“Two hours...maybe three.”

 

“It’s freezing!” Aoba’s voice was suddenly loud, and Mink cringed. He was concerned that Aoba would wake Granny downstairs, or half the neighborhood. But after a moment Aoba only sighed, shaking his head and pulling the blankets back more. “Idiot,” he mumbled. “You got yourself sick.” He guided Mink back down to the bed with a hand splayed on his chest, before those deft fingers trailed down lightly along his abdomen, tracing the lines of muscle there. “Get some rest.”

 

Mink grunted in response, already starting to fall asleep despite the deep ache in his stomach and joints. Aoba’s arms circled around him, gently rubbing in just the right places and it was working wonders. Soon enough, he found himself falling into blissful slumber. 

 

It didn’t stay blissful for long. 

 

Suddenly, Mink was on fire, absolutely aflame. He was burning from the inside out, amongst the screams and cries of those around him that were drowning out everything else. He was breathing them in like oxygen, and it was suffocating. Fire started in his fingertips and toes and his joints were matchsticks, igniting and lighting. His mouth was filled with crumbling ash as the fire in his body burned away his flesh, stinking, right down to his very bones. 

 

Wild with the heat and pain, Mink clawed at his chest and shoulders, digging into any part of his body he could reach, just to try to extinguish the flames. It was doing nothing and he was falling, flaming, disintegrating. A sharp scream, higher pitched than the others, made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and a shiver run down his spine. Mink turned to see a young girl, being snatched away from in front of him. He reached out, trying desperately to grasp onto any part of her; skin, hair, a fragment of her dress. He caught onto her wrist but still, she was yanked from his grasp, a multicolored bracelet falling from her frail arm before she was engulfed in the merciless flames herself. Mink knelt to pick up the strand and he tried to scream, to call out to her, but his voice wouldn’t come out. Nothing but smoke left his throat and he was choking on it, deafened still by the screams echoing in his ears. 

 

Mink woke with a start, a strangled cry for his mother in his native tongue tangled on his lips. He was sweating, shaking, gagging on air, and he sat up so abruptly that Aoba was immediately on high alert. That hardly mattered to Mink, who was so sure he was in hell. He could smell smoke in the room, could still see glowing embers and burning flames behind his eyes. Mink was mumbling breathily to himself in his mother tongue, awkward words that Aoba couldn’t recognize at all. He sounded absolutely terrified. Aoba reached out to Mink’s bare shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but MInk let out an alarmed cry at the sensation. Aoba recoiled himself, Mink’s skin unspeakably hot to the touch. 

 

“Mink. Mink, baby, it’s me.” Aoba mumbled to the older man, who was still shaking and rocking slightly back and forth. Aoba decided to reach out again, this time placing both his hands on Mink’s sweating shoulders. “You’re burning up.” 

 

If Aoba sounds concerned, it was entirely lost on Mink. He was too far gone inside his fevered nightmare, memories of his past. Aoba removed the blanket from around his hips and Mink whined in protest, a half hearted gag escaping his lips. 

 

“Come on, Mink. We have to get you cooled down.” Aoba’s voice filtered into his head, but didn’t register and suddenly Mink was being lifted off the bed, being almost dragged across the room. 

 

Mink was still mumbling incoherently, and trying to push Aoba away from him, completely separated from the reality of the situation. Suddenly, Mink leaned forward in Aoba’s grasp, heaving and spilling the meager contents of his stomach in an arc onto Aoba’s bedroom floor. It was mostly water and hot burning bile. 

 

Aoba’s grip on him tightened, trying to guide him into the bathroom, but instead of following, Mink lashed out. There were strange hands on him, they were going to take him somewhere he never wanted go. These hands were the ones that took his parents, his friends, his sister - and he had to get away. He had to be free from them. 

 

Blindly, not knowing what he was really doing, Mink swung a clumsy fist in Aoba’s direction. It connected, and while there wasn’t as much force behind it as there could have been, it still stung and Aoba backed away slightly before another blow could land. 

 

“Mink! Mink, come back to me, please. I’m here. It’s Aoba! You’re safe.” Aoba whispered urgently, holding his hands up in front of him, wanting desperately to be able to comfort his boyfriend. 

 

And all at once, Mink crumpled. He fell to his knees, the sound loud enough that it no doubt hurt his joints. He wrapped his arms around his own torso and continued to rock in place, almost thrashing.  And then Mink tossed his head back, teeth bared, in a grimace that Aoba couldn’t decipher as agony or anger. Just as soon as his hands were around his torso, they were on the floor, in fists banging against the hardwood of it. Aoba swore he could hear Mink’s knuckles cracking, and he was afraid the other man was going to hurt himself. 

 

Aoba took a deep breath to steady himself and barked out a command, leaving no room for disobedience. “Mink! Look at me!” 

 

His voice changed with the command, it was deeper and his eyes flashed, but it had Mink’s head snapping up to look at him, eyes wide and lost, and Aoba did not waste a moment to hesitation. 

 

Scrap was different now than it was before. He didn’t always see everything clearly, he didn’t always speak to the person inside their mind, but sometimes all Aoba needed to do was reach out and find and pull, and drag them and their senses back into reality. 

 

And that’s what he did. He could feel the cloying heat and overwhelming raw emotion in Mink’s mind as he was pulled into it. He saw flashes and felt things - fear and rage and sickness. But he grit his teeth and bore it as he searched for the strings of Mink’s consciousness with his fingertips. He found them and pulled them taut, pulled them away from the hell they were trapped in - And his mind was violently pushed from Mink’s and he fell back, hard onto the bedroom floor. He sat on his butt in front of Mink, watching as he stopped thrashing and started coughing. 

 

Soon the coughs gave in to gasps, gave into full blown sobs. For a moment Aoba was too started to move, still dislodging the cobwebs left over from Mink’s mind. But soon, Mink’s gasps and throaty sobs brought Aoba back to reality. 

 

“A-oba.” Mink’s voice was broken, shards of glass, and his teeth started to chatter. 

 

“You’re okay, Mink. I’m right here.” Aoba extended his arms and Mink launched himself into them, feeling every bit as childish as the action was. He couldn’t bring himself to care, not when Aoba’s arms were steady and warm and not going to crumble or leave him. Slowly, he stopped shaking, the sobs dried into hiccups and he leaned back from the embrace. 

 

“Let’s get you back in bed, yeah?” Aoba’s voice was gentle and Mink wanted to curl up inside of it. He wanted to lie back down with him and hide his tear stained face in the blankets. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried in front of someone. It left him feeling empty, weak and wretched. He began to nod and Aoba smiled. 

 

Mink’s gaze caught on Aoba’s cheek, and his eyes grew wide. It was red, looked as though it had been hit, a small welt was rising dark pink on his pale skin. A hand went up to cover his mouth as Mink realized what had happened. 

 

Aoba stopped in the middle of standing up. “Mink?” 

 

“Your face. Aoba. Aoba...oh god. Did I…? Oh god. Aoba, I hurt you.” Mink’s breaths sped up again, short and gasping in panic. He always said he’d die before hurting him again, and here they were. Mink, breaking a promise. Mink, hurting someone who was only trying to love him.

 

His cheek stung, felt warm, but Aoba has had far worse. It may be a small bruise in the morning, but nothing to worry about. But his silence had Mink shrinking back, trying to pull away from him. It was too much,  _ he’d done this too much _ , he was so sure everytime he touched Aoba it was  going to be this, stinging bruises and burning tears and endless agony.

 

“It’s nothing,” Aoba said, reaching out to take one of Mink’s hands. He gave it an affectionate squeeze, before pulling it up to his lips, kissing it once. He nuzzled into his palm, sighing, and Mink had to glance away. Aoba was always too quick to forgive, and Mink feared  it would be the young man’s undoing one day.

 

But Aoba’s warm cheek, soft smile, it made Mink’s chest ache. Made him want to hold him, to sleep. To forget tonight. Forget it ever happened.

 

“I’m sorry… for all of this…” Mink’s voice was a ragged croak. Aoba simply shook his head, helped him up and guided him back to the bed.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Aoba said, as Mink very carefully crawled into the bed again. “Everyone gets sick.” Aoba just shrugged with the statement, as if he’d spent his fair share of nights vomiting on someone’s floor.

 

Maybe he had. Mink didn’t know much of anything about him, before their meeting. Gleams here and there of who he  _ had _ been, but mostly an image of who he could be, who he was becoming now.

 

Aoba leaned over, kissed Mink’s warm forehead, then passed him the glass of water. Mink sipped carefully as Aoba walked off, was quick to clean up the watery mess Mink had left. Mink grimaced at that, and swore after this, he was going to treat Aoba like a god. Do whatever he wanted for however long, anything to make him realize just how precious he was.

 

When Aoba came back, he took  the now empty glass and set it on his nightstand. He snuggled in, entangled himself around Mink. His soft lips found his shoulder, and Mink let his eyes slip shut. He still felt foggy an awful, but better enough to sleep. If only for a little- he knew he couldn’t be here, in this state, in the morning if Aoba’s other lovers were coming back. Especially Koujaku. There would be no explaining the bruise on Aoba’s jaw. There’d be no explaining any of this.

 

But he could afford a few hours. Just a few.

 

*

 

The next thing Mink recognized was speaking. It was far off, but coming closer. The harshness of it had him clawing his way up from sleep, cracking his eyes open. His head was still pounding, and his eyes felt stuffed with dry cotton. He blinked slowly, feeling blinded by the light sneaking into Aoba’s room from a crack in the veranda curtains.

 

He didn’t think anything of it, for a moment. He was lucky he even knew who he was, right now. But then the voice was stronger, louder. Coming closer. The hallway? And  _ oh _ , it was yelling.

 

It was only when he heard Aoba yell, “Koujaku  _ listen to me _ !” that everything flooded back to him, and he realized just how truly fucked he was.

 

“I’m not going to stand here and listen to you defending that abusive asshole!” His voice was booming, spilling into the room as he threw the door open. Quick, long strides take him to the bed in mere moments, and Mink barely had time to breathe before Koujaku was ripping the sheets back, wrapping a firm hand on his bicep and trying to drag him up.

 

The room spun and there was an agonizing ringing in Mink’s head. He was dizzy from that movement, and he felt strangely cold without the blanket, even though he could feel sweat on his body.

 

“Koujaku, he’s sick!” He was right behind them, reaching out and grasping onto Koujaku’s shirt. At least he’d changed from the night before, and hadn’t simply waited outside to barge in and see what hell he thought Mink had crafted in his absence. “He was delirious, he had a fever!”

 

Koujaku was nearly growling. His eyes were alight, and  _ god _ , he was terrifying. Normally Mink wouldn’t care, but he felt so defeated, so burnt and torn apart. He reached out, placed a burning hand to Koujaku’s chest, pushed at him to try and move him away. Instead he merely leaned forward, muscles gone to water, body weight leaning on Koujaku.

 

For a single moment there was nothing. He went into black and dissolved into it, until he could feel Aoba’s hands straightening him up. “Mink!” He exclaimed loudly, alarmed. “Fuck, he’s so hot.” Aoba looked like he could wince from touching Mink’s burning skin.

 

Koujaku stared for a moment, was ready for Mink to swing at him. Was almost hoping for it, so he could lay into him like he always wanted to, for the shit he put Aoba through. Instead, he’s left staring, watching a panicked Aoba trying to brush Mink’s hair back from his sweaty forehead.

 

“We have to cool him off.” Aoba’s voice was raised, high and nervous, and Koujaku cringed. He glanced around, didn’t really know what to do- “What about the bath?”

 

“That could work,” Koujaku agreed, letting the malice in him dissipate. He could revisit it later- Aoba wasn’t wrong when he said Mink was sick. And Koujaku could see it was far more serious than he ever would have thought.

 

“Go start it. As cold as it can go!” Koujaku nodded, turned quickly and was running out of the room. Aoba shiftes one of Mink’s arms up onto his shoulders, tried to support some of his weight. “Mink,  _ baby _ , I need you to get up.” Mink mumbles something, was having trouble focusing or making his body move. He managed to slide off the bed, but when they stood he leaned so heavily on Aoba that for a moment the younger man thought they were both going to end up on the floor.

 

“Should go,” Mink managed to say, and Aoba grit his teeth, tightening his grip.

 

“Like  _ hell _ ,” he said, the attitude shining in his voice. “You’re not going anywhere.” And then, a little softer. “I’m going to take care of you. You’re not well.”

 

Mink tried to mumble  _ I’m fine _ , but it never came

out. Aoba got  him across the room, into the hallway, and from the open bathroom door, they could hear running water.

 

“‘Jaku hates me,” Mink whispered, as they got to the doorway. Koujaku looked up at that, having just twisted the knob so the faucet would stop.

 

Aoba closed his eyes for a moment, directed his voice to Koujaku. “Help. Please.” When he opened them, Koujaku was by Mink’s other side, helping to support him. “No one hates you,” Aoba said, as they got closer to the tub. This wasn’t the time to deal with animosity between his boyfriends- another day. Aoba  _ swore _ . But not today. Even if it seemed the universe was disagreeing with him. “We have to get you into the tub.”

 

Koujaku helped to keep Mink steady as Aoba’s hands make quick work of his sweatpants. Mink, delirious and barely able to focus his eyes, didn’t  fight, until he was stepped into the tub and the icy water was on his burning skin. He gave a sharp, confused cry, and Aoba and Koujaku tightened their grips on his arms. They guided him down, and Mink goes only because Aoba was saying his name, over and over again.

 

He would do anything for him.  _ Anything _ .

 

The cold was unpleasant. Almost unbearable. His teeth were on edge and his skin felt so thin against it. The sensation had his stomach impossibly crawling up his throat and pressing against the back of his tongue insistently. He tried to breathe through it again, tried to focus on Aoba and his soft voice repeating his name. But his hands started to sweat and drool started to collect thick in his cheeks. 

 

Mink grit his teeth and reached one hand out to grasp Aoba. Aoba covered his hand with one of his own and squeezed. “You’re doing so well. Just a few more minutes.” Or that was what Mink thought he said, anyway. Everything sounded foggy and far away, like he was listening from under a thick wool blanket and only catching snatches. 

 

Saliva continued to collect under his tongue and he shook his head at Aoba’s statement when his stomach seized up. He knew he was going to lose the tiny amount of water he’d drank last night. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, a gasped apology on his lips, in his mother tongue again. He heaved, gagging and vomiting a small amount of mostly clear liquid. It landed with a slightly unnerving splash in the water around him. Koujaku grunted on one side of the bathtub as Aoba leaned forward to rub against Mink’s back. 

 

“Okay. Easy. You’re okay. You’re alright.” Aoba was reassuring him but Mink still felt so so far away. 

 

He shook his head in response. He really….he really wasn’t alright. He felt like he was floating and the sensation was beyond nauseating. The muscles in his stomach and back and even neck hurt from heaving so frequently. Tears rose to his eyes, collected in the corners, and beaded down his face all in one moment. He felt so disconnected, so completely lost. Eyes still closed, a dry sob escaped his throat. 

 

Aoba leaned over his wet and shaking body, pressing kisses against his cheeks and trying to dry the tears as best as he could. Koujaku could hear him mumbling to Mink, and felt like this was something he wasn’t supposed to be seeing. He averted his gaze and held fast to Mink, he could feel how much the other man was leaning against him to keep from falling into the cold tub. His attention returned to the two in front of him when he heard Aoba sniffle himself, eyes cast up to the ceiling to stem the tears that shown in them. 

 

Koujaku couldn’t stand the sight of Aoba upset. He would do anything to keep that from happening, and if that meant helping out in this situation and putting his feelings aside for now, he could do it. For Aoba. 

 

“Have you given him anything?” Koujaku asks over Mink, trembling in the tub. 

 

“No, just water.” 

 

“He needs some medication or his fever will spring right back up.” Koujaku said. It sounded like he was keeping his voice calm and quiet, concerned but in a restrained way. 

 

Aoba’s wide eyes caught Koujaku’s and he felt the guilt starting to take hold within him. Should he have given him something? Would that have helped avoid this? If only he had known Mink was standing out in the cold for so long... “What should I give him?” 

 

“S-so cold, Aoba. I’m freezing.” Mink’s voice was quiet, pleading. “Can I get out? P-please.  _ Please. _ ” 

 

Aoba reached forward and pressed his wrist to Mink’s forehead. It felt considerably cooler. He looked to Koujaku again. 

 

“Go ask Tae-san for something.” Koujaku said. Aoba opened his mouth to protest. Koujaku knew he had not wanted to involve Granny in this, knew Mink probably didn’t either, but he couldn’t see any other options at this point. “I’ll stay. I’ll help him back to bed.”

 

“But-“ 

 

Koujaku shook his head. “Really. You should explain the situation.” 

 

Aoba sighed. He took a moment and glanced to Mink. He was a strange shade of pale with fever rosy cheeks and he looked absolutely miserable. He did seem to be coming to his senses a bit though. Mink wouldn’t meet Aoba’s gaze, he just stared straight ahead into the water. Aoba knew Mink wouldn’t want to be left alone with Koujaku, especially in the state he was in now, but he also knew there wasn’t another choice. He wouldn’t be gone long. 

 

He leaned in to Mink for just a moment more. “Baby, I’ll be right back. I have to get you something.” He squeezed Mink’s shoulder and pecked him on the cheek. He really did feel a lot cooler. “I’ll be right back.” 

 

He whispered the reassurance again before pulling back. Mink glanced up at him, eyes looking utterly broken. Aoba felt his chest tighten painfully. He looked at Koujaku again before heading quickly out of the bathroom door. 

 

With Aoba gone, the silence between Koujaku and Mink stretched. It was broken only by the sloshing of water as Mink moved, drips falling from his dark skin back into the water. Mink stared into it, transfixed by the way it was blurring the shape of his legs beneath the surface. 

 

Silently, Koujaku reached forward to help Mink stand up. His skin was fever flushed and slick with water, but Koujaku’s grip was strong and steadying. Mink knew Koujaku would only have to press down with a little more force to bruise his handprints into his skin, and knew he’d deserve such treatment if he did. But he didn’t, just helped hold him steady as Mink stepped over the threshold of the tub. He wasted no time in handing him a towel - blue and fluffy - and Mink wrapped himself up in it, hurrying his once again tear stained face in it for a moment. 

 

“Do you need anything?” Koujaku asked softly, gaze trapped somewhere near Mink’s feet, noticing a black and gray tattoo spreading up one ankle. “Are you doing okay?” 

 

Mink was honestly not doing okay. He was freezing, still, and hurt so badly. His head was fuzzy but throbbing and his stomach was nothing but a ball of empty, dull aches. He was as thirsty as he could ever remember being. But instead of voicing any of this, Mink spoke in a quiet, scratchy voice. “I don’t deserve Aoba.” 

 

“Mink-“ Koujaku began, but Mink cut him off, trembling and pulling the towel closer to his body. 

 

“I don’t. I don’t deserve his forgiveness and I don’t deserve your trust.” 

 

Instead of answering immediately, Koujaku swallowed. A part of him did agree with his statements, but another part was still wallowing in how wrong he had been that morning when he accused Mink. 

 

“Aoba makes his own decisions.” He managed, and then forced a smile that was at least partially true. “And somehow he’s got us all wrapped around his fingers.”

 

Despite his discomfort, Mink smiled at that as well. It was just a subtle turn of his paling lips, but it was something. Koujaku couldn’t help but feel bad. The guy had to be miserable. 

 

“Let’s get you dressed and back in bed, yeah?” Koujaku asked. Mink nodded, but before much of anything could happen, Aoba was bursting back through the door, a few pills and a small glass of water in his hand. 

 

He held them out before Mink could even move, and silently Mink took them. He only swallowed enough water to get them down, despite wanting to down the whole glass in a few swallows.

 

“Okay, back to bed,” Aoba said, taking the glass back. “Granny wants to take a look at you.”

 

“I’m-”

 

“If you say  _ fine _ ,” Aoba broke in, “I will kick all your bones in.”

 

Mink clamped his mouth shut, heard Koujaku stifling a laugh. Carefully they made their way back to Aoba’s room, and Koujaku waited outside in the hall, as Mink got dressed and crawled back into Aoba’s bed.

 

Koujaku was about to turn and re-enter the room, when Tae bustled up the hallway. Instead he held the door open, flashing her a smile.

 

  
“Tae-san,” he said in greeting, as she walked past him. Mink was tucked back into bed, Aoba sitting next to him, brushing his hair back. Wordlessly, Granny walked over, plopping a little case on Aoba’s nightstand and opening it.

 

“What have you stupid boys gotten into?” she asked, pulling a thermometer out of the bag. She turned to Mink, holding it out. “Under your tongue until I say so.” Mink obeyed, keeping it steady under his tongue, feeling impossibly small in the moment. Granny was intimidating, and maybe at first he hadn’t cared, but now…

 

She was Aoba’s  _ family _ .

 

“Shouldn’t you have used a different one?” Koujaku asked with a teasing grin. It took Aoba a moment to understand, before he was hopping up off the bed and hurrying over to him. He beat a fist on Koujaku’s chest, yelled at him to  _ not be an ass _ .

 

Granny ignored them, arms folded and watching Mink, as if he would spit the thermometer out the moment she looked away. It was an exasperated, almost motherly look- and Mink had a warm feeling flooding his chest over it.

 

When she was satisfied it had been long enough, Granny carefully removed the thermometer, glancing at it. “Too high,” she said, shaking it gently at Mink. “The bath helped. Tell me your symptoms. Be honest.”

 

It was an order.

 

Mink swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn’t  _ want  _ to, but he didn’t have much of a choice. “My head is killing me,” he admitted, “and my stomach is… off.”

 

“An understatement,” Koujaku piped in, now that Aoba had calmed down. He was back, grasping one of Koujaku’s hands, still looking nervous for Mink.

 

“Hmm. Aches? Dizziness?” Mink nodded. “The fever will do that. The medicine should help for a bit. Rest for now, drink water if your stomach allows. I’ll make you some soup.”

 

Mink opened his mouth to protest, but Granny would have none of it. She was already packing up her bag. She gathered it up, heading straight out the door, on a mission now.

 

Aoba and Koujaku walked back over to the bed, Aoba sitting down on it to rub Mink’s arm. The protest was visible on Mink’s face, palpable in the air. “Just let her,” Aoba said.

 

“Yeah. Tae-san is stubborn. Aoba learned that from her.”

 

Aoba reached out, smacked Koujaku’s arm now. Koujaku just laughed, and Mink relaxed a little. He may still be uncomfortable, being in such a state around anyone, but he trusted Aoba. Completely. And Koujaku seemed to have cooled down.

 

Besides. Aoba trusted him.  _ Loved him _ . And if Aoba trusted him, Mink would continue to try.

 

He owed him that much.


End file.
